Never Happy

by Joel Harkin

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1.
Old Churches 03:08
He walked past the old churches for sale on the ormeau road and watched them as they stood so still in their garden overgrown and he had a look out back and found another just like him searching for a difference in a place he'd already been eyes were sunsets red and blue, pastel, polished old cars skin was pale but lips were a luscious scarlet, fresh cut scars and they moved into the cellar joined by their hands then at their teeth, covering your eyes is sometimes the only way to see the town they searched and searched but never came across the pair I heard them say they did but i dont really think they cared.
2.
Vada 03:26
After sweet Thomas J. There's been a new boy over to play I find him a little dark, but my daddy says he's smart. He's wrote a song or two about what his parents do, a Guinness girl and a boy named Jack. For poetry, he has the knack. We climbed the rooftop that night. Kept watch for satellites passing by. Skin was as cold as ice, and pale like he'd had a fright, I guessed it was the height. His boots were falling apart, little did i know he'd the same state of heart. Like me, he'd suffered loss, fucking love and its only clause. For me it was the bees. For him a gigantic sea between him and his misery. The reason his heart used to beat, now the reason he can't sleep.
3.
Mark I've been listening to your record and thinking about Berlin and our two throats, calling out, singing that song we swore we would father but, just never took the chance maybe spring time, I will visit, and talk of our romance with the truth you have accepted, but I cannot get down what will be sang to my cherished when I'm put in the ground? Train Under Water? Cayote Song? Ship In A Bottle? Light Pollution? Mark I've been listening to your record and thinking about dying When you're here lets put a day aside and do some writing
4.
We there it is. The beautiful clouded sky And I can’t move, for fear that I would surely die. Just one small step, my soul slips slow from beneath me And then black dirt. From hear yno I’ll never see. Some nights I search for your dreams sincere of crude Because I can speak to you in ways I never could But sure you wake and I return to a filled in grave and your face aches It was the strangest thing, didn’t know what to do. I held you high apon my shoulder, guided by a loving father but I wish I didn’t have to walk so fast. The place it filled right up with people and our words echoed from the steeples. I cried ‘You are my sister,’ then we left. You’ll suffer such a simple sadness, please open up, escape the madness. Don’t leave it up to fate, don’t roll the dice. Do everything you feel you can, whether it is with or without a man. Sleep on the floor and love it because it’s life.
5.
I think I’m getting sad again and I’ve got no place to be. Thinking about that trip we took and how lucky underprivilege had seemed And the house, where we stayed outside Dompierre-sur-Mer. It lays empty now, unaware of the freezing to death out there, Quiet and scared. Is there a mistake with our perception of life how long can we keep up the charade? I’ll never change. I get up everyday because I know I’m not the same. I’m the fox, the rose, the prince.
6.
Lake Irene 04:22
The is a tall mountain by Lake Irene, where we used to go swimming, where the water was clean, Where we lived large, where I died petite as the shorts on the shore, folded so neat. I boarded a train bound for kyoto. I’m getting off the grid, out of cold tokyo. It’s my choice what’s in my line of sight. Pink cherry blossoms, not flashing arcade lights. And when I arrive and sum up the scene, I become a person I’ve never been. And for a couple weeks I stay the same, then back to myself and back home again. I’ve got a couple friends, they live on dunluce avenue. Yno I like to spend my time with them, they make me feel brand new. The make the night another part of the day. They smoke the story from the page. And if I survive past all their days, and if I leave and no one notices my empty space Well thats the way itll have to be, buti just cannot seem to purge these thoughts so easily. We will have to see.
7.
No Recycling 02:58
I’m back about a week now, from visiting my da and wearing too much sunscreen and sitting ar an trá. It’s a different life, todo es manana. Think I’d like to live there, mostly to see my da. So we’ll save it up til we’re old and dumb and buy some property In the sun near bars and restaurants beside the motor way. And we’ll be on til three o clock and then be on our way Because we don’t mind staying up late, if it’s warm during the day. There was nights he was working and i went out myself to walk along the sunset and not think about the wealth That must lay between the road and shore because ive learned not to care That half the town has nothing and the rest are millionaires. Throw it in the bin, there’s no recycling we dont care about the earth And we’ll be dead and buried before theres visible results Of our carelessness our disregard but we’ll take you out for lunch No chat of politics or urban myths just the growth in your net worth
8.
Silver Line 02:35
This house is cold, but Deirdre’s been writing and we’ve a blanket on. The roads are full of sleeping families, while the churches lay empty We couldn’t soil their divinity now could we? Theres a fault in my thoughts. Makes me think i’s’ when ‘is not’ Glazed as donuts, cold as so whats Death and life I can’t see a bright side. The evasive silver line. Just a cloud.
9.
If I open my window, the city it leaks in and i taste the life of my father so young now getting older theres a weight upon his shoulders he's thinking like i thought when i was twenty one theres been talk of flying off and ill miss him if he gets the job but i cannot be so selfish to deny him the right to wake up where he wants to on an Alicante avenue to feel so content and to live in delight to live in delight now it is autumn and I'm David Sedaris and darling you are the skin that i so long to touch the taxidermist knew it and i couldnt refuse it i avoided his eyes but fell so deeply into love and Deirdre, all our friends are breaking up they're tired and giving into lust they're feeling about as mobile as a wall of cement but in a month they'll sober up, fall into bed remake old love they'll get back together and start new arguments they'll start new arguments lit by the moonlight bringing my lips to your side i rejoice at the thought of your scent in my sheets but that is for the morning, the sunshine the yawning because darling now there is pleasure and a taste thats so sweet a taste thats so sweet but then i've awoken, setting myself in motion I turn to you but you have disappeared i realised it was fiction, my mind's jurisdiction darling i hate your absence and i could not be more sincere i could not be more sincere
10.
Thought I’d go home, but I stayed alone. Lay on my bed, looked through your pictures, help my hands and my head. My mother’s coat and your breathing was loud as I dug a hole. Though you never said two words to me, there was something it was so easy. Your eyes were brown, you made my favourite sounds. Doll, I love how you looked at me. But you’re not around and it’s hard to go home now so i stay here and i watch tv. And i often think, when i'm on the brink, how those brown eyes perceived. Was I good enough? Was I passable? Was i all that you’d hoped I’d be The day we met and we ran you a bath to let the warm water wash away a troubled past? Towel dried you fell asleep next to the fire. Could it be true this is all you desired?

about

Northern Irish Music Prize 2020 - Best Album Award - Nominee

credits

released May 19, 2020

Artwork by Aaron Cunningham

Produced by George Sloan @ Half Bap Studios
Mastered by Pete Maher

Ⓒ All Rights Reserved - Joel Harkin
Ⓟ All Rights Reserved - Joel Harkin

CAE / IPI - 00758658482

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about

Joel Harkin Belfast, UK

a miserable Irish socialist

alternative folk in belfast, northern ireland.

Northern Irish Music Prize 2020 Best Album Award Nominee

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